Amazed.....

I am amazed it is 12-31-11, Amazed I haven't written since the day before we moved in, Amazed at how much life has changed in the last year, TRULY Amazed life can be this good and wonderful and amazing.

I have been pondering coming here for a few days now, maybe longer, realizing how bad I have been at writing and not quite sure where the time has gone. I really do not know where time has gone. I feel like I am always busy, be it an event I have to plan for, work, I am not sure, but I can tell you one thing.....it is not slowing down any time soon. The amount of events in the first half of next year is crazy and I am sure that means I will be writing here at the end of 2012 faster than I believe.

There is a lot about the future with work which is uncertain, new CEO and I am sure a ton of changes once Feb 1 rolls around and our new year is here. I need to get through January. I need to finish strong, I need to find a way to bring it all in. Somehow amidst all the chaos and stress I am really calm. I am not sure if I should be or if I should be more panicked, but I am only concentrating on what I can control right now. Leaving the rest to take care of itself. I can't worry about it because it will keep me from where I need to be.

On another front as we have a New Year upon us I am so excited for my future as I know that I have so much to look forward too, so much unknown in a good way and I am sure that 2012 will be the year that so much changes for me and so much becomes clear. It is so amazing to be in this place where I know everything will work out, where I know I have found the person I will be with forever, where we get to plan our future and all it entails and I just have to sit back and enjoy each moment, for I know there is nothing but wonderful ahead. For me there is no better place, everything fell into place the way it is supposed to be, everything is happening the way it should be and all is just good in my world. The love we share makes me stronger and more confident and I know I can handle anything that comes my way, for I am not alone, I am part of a pair and we, together, and get through it all. Who could have known I could be here now, when a year ago we were just at the beginning and just feeling the love develop, it really is quite unbelievable yet believable at the same time. I am lucky. I am blessed. I am so happy.

In 2012 I become an auntie, I gain a sister-in-law and one of my dearest friend's becomes a wife......I also know many of my friends will get engaged and there will be even more to celebrate. Life is good. It was all worth waiting for.

Cheers to a wonderful 2012 for all who read this, all I care for, and the rest of you out there.

xo

Change can be good

Anyone that knows me knows I do not like change. I would say it freaks me out a little to be honest. Now I am in a situation where I have big change upon me and I would say it's the most excited and happy I have ever been.

Tomorrow is moving day. I am not quite sure how it is already Friday, but holy cow, everything needs to be done by tomorrow. I am almost there :).

It is crazy how life can be. Hindsight is 20/20 so looking back it is so much easier to reflect than when you are in the present moment. I think about how happy I am right now, but also HOW happy so many of my friends are right now.......we all had moments, some of us longer than others, where it didn't seem the grey cloud would lift, we couldn't see the other side, we couldn't move and were just stuck. I guess for all of us, our 30's are pretty amazing. I truly feel the sun is shining on many of us right now and I definitely see it shining on me.

As I get older, I even more appreciate the little things and the moments with loved ones that make my heart smile. Today as I stare at my apartment in boxes, and I can barely walk and still have more to do, 7 days left in our quarter and I am at 0, and their is stress all around.......I feel a sense of calm and happiness as my heart is smiling BIG right now. Tomorrow, Bryan and I enter into the next chapter, one we both take very seriously and one we are both so excited about!

Where to begin

When you are sooo far behind. Do I stop all together or just pick up where I left off. Chrissy recently harped on me that I needed to update here, so alas to satisfy her and myself, here goes.

There has been A LOT happening, it's a little nuts! Right now my biggest struggle and probably the thing that I think about most is balance. Bryan and I are moving in together July 23. I am more excited than words can express for this, but with this comes a lot of change....

1) I have not lived with anyone for about 10 years
2) I need to find other classes besides my bike classes as the commute there will not be worth it 3-4 times a week
3) I need to find everything NEW as I do not really know the area
4) Bryan and I are moving in......and that's change enough

I look forward to always being able to see him, every morning and every night and just removing the hassle of the back and forth. I look forward to our first fight (strange I know) and to what it feels like to really be so committed that everything is a "we".....I mean we are there but sharing the same address takes it up a notch......to a place neither of us have been before and I am excited we get to do that together. It helps that my sister, brother-in-law, and parents adore him. I love that. I know my brother and future sister-in-law will too. There is so much to look forward to, so much on the horizon.....so much to do.....and that brings me back to the balance thing. I am behind and owe so many friends phone calls, I am tired, work is nuts and really is my main focus. I am laser focused, I know my goals, moving deals along. It is insane all the travel, but it is necessary as well. If I don't travel Sunday I am spending the day doing things for me. I need it.....oh and I need to think about packing too.....Yikes, I do not want to do that, LOL.......when it all seems to much to bear and when I get overwhelmed I can rest assured knowing I am seeing Bryan soon and all is right in my world.....:)

Smiling From Ear to Ear....

and I just can't help it. I laugh at myself, for all the over analyzing, self doubt, and worry.....for the negative thoughts that consumed me at times, for now it is all truly behind me. I have found someone who makes me feel like the most amazing person on earth, he is patient, kind, sensitive, caring, funny, and he is there for me. He understands me and doesn't make me feel bad for who I am. He treasures and adores me. I still get so excited every time I am going to see him or he is coming to see me. We have future plans and I feel safe with him and them. This relationship is honest and meaningful and I can't stop smiling. I love what I know is in store for the future and can't imagine all the things I don't even know. The future is bright. Next stop on our journey, apartment hunting on Sunday, the day we celebrate our 6 month anniversary. You see why I am grinning from ear to ear?

Time.......

is a funny thing. Sometimes it goes to fast, other times too slow. I have to be better when working from home. My mind wanders to so many far away places and it's hard to get things done....but in an instant the day is over and everything starts again.

I find myself consumed with so many future thoughts right now that I lose a bit of what is in the present. It is weird and hard to explain. I am obsessed with vacations, time at the beach and breaks in general. 4th of July, Bryan comes to LA with me. Sept we have Mexico, Austin in October for a wedding. Before you know it the holidays will be here, yikes! So many big decisions to be made over the next couple months.....Where to move, etc. I know I can't worry until it is closer to the time but I can't help but obsess about it a little bit.

I am really looking forward to my parents coming May 14th. I am looking forward to warmer weather too. So much to be thankful for and so much to look forward too. I just need to enjoy the NOW a bit more, focus on the NOW a bit more, especially with work. It has been a rough month with that to say the least. I can't wait until the quarter is over on 4/29 to say the least, but then it does start all over again. Time...

Routine.....

There is something to be said about the benefits of one. I have been pretty out of whack the past two weeks with all the travel. 6 days in Utah for work and 6 days in CA for work, turned into a couple days with family & friends. I blink my eye and it is already April this Friday. Unbelievable really. I think many of us long to get out of our routines a lot of the time, but I actually find myself happy to get back into mine. A weekend at home in Denver, going to workouts regularly (been hurting there big time!), and time to catch up. I plan to do some Spring cleaning this weekend. Next weekend NJ Kim comes to visit, VERY excited but I need to get ready. I have a new routine to get used to as well, one that's a tad more quiet as I decided to leave Jasper at my parent's....at least for a while or indefinitely as we are saying. He has such a better life there and with my travel schedule, it just seems to make more sense. It's funny, I knew going into this weekend this was happening, but I couldn't stop the tears all day yesterday once I left and still last night when I was hanging out with Bryan. It's funny how we can long for the peace and quiet and uninterrupted moments, but then when you have them, you miss a bit of the chaos. Life is ironic that way. You have to have a furry friend to understand, and he was my first on my own, about 8 days after I moved here. I love getting the pics from my Mom and have to remember this is for the best, at least for now.....

There was a time

when I felt pretty caught up in all my friends lives.....I was pretty in tune with what was happening whether by e-mail, phone, blogs.....that time passed sometime ago. Maybe when I moved here, maybe sometime after. I am longing and trying to find a way back.

Balance is a funny word. It is a simple word which describes something so hard to achieve. I am trying, I need to try harder. Work takes up a lot of me right now, I thought it would get better with a new year beginning but it isn't and it won't.....not while we are in such a competitive situation and missed Q4 numbers. We had our Sales Summit in SLC last week. It was so great to all be together. The pressure is definitely on. We all feel it. This week a trade show in San Diego, need to make some stuff happen out of that. I refuse to let the pressure and stress get the best of me. I need to separate and work on turning it off when I can.

The great thing is I LOVE my job and who I work for/with. That makes everything a tad more tolerable.

I have vacation booked 9/20-9/27......well Bryan and I have our flights booked to Cancun on miles. We are still trying to figure out exact destination although it is looking like Riviera Maya/Playa del Carmen. I can only hope we get super lucky as it is hurricane season and there isn't too much rain, that's the time of year that worked best for us so what are you going to do? He is more of the laidback personality so I am trying to be the same :). All there is wonderful and that makes everything in my life better too. After being gone for 6 days, we spent the entire weekend together. I couldn't work out because I had an incident with the chairlift at Snowbird. Chairlift won :). I am allowed to go to the gym tonight, not bike class, but it will feel good to at least get to the gym for a bit.

I am excited for San Diego too. While I have to probably face my old boss, I am in such a better place then when I went to this last year.

I find myself very content in the "NOW", while also very hopeful for my "FUTURE". Great place to be...........:)

Not enough time

to write, but yet so much to write about. I suppose that is how it always is.

Ski trip this past weekend was so much fun. I am definitely still recovering as there was so much preparation leading up to it and a bit of drama leading up to it and there that now I am trying to get caught up. March is pretty insane. Gone 18 days. This is hard but I am trying to take things one day at a time. There is pressure for our current quarter which closes end of April. I guess that never ends. I need to get some deals closed here. I know I am a bit all over the place, that is how things are these days! Diana & Pat LOVED Bryan and that makes me happy. He got along great with everyone on the trip. I am not surprised by this but the fact my sister loves him, THAT is fantastic :). I finally got my W-2 from Intern Inc.......after weeks of drama, lies, I already called the IRS, we all did because they were so late we thought we had to file without them. I can't wait to mail off my stuff today as I am hoping for a good return......really hoping. Bryan and I are planning a beach vacation for the fall, using miles to fly there. I really hope we can pull it off and that there aren't hurricanes, lol. It has been so busy we haven't been able to solidify but we are talking about it a lot so that is good. I think I will have a sense of relief just knowing that is happening. SO many meetings and so little time. I am off, so much to say and no time to say it all, but I will try and be back soon......

What is Magical to you.....

Pretty cool discussion on the radio this morning as I drove home from Bryan's.....It was -1, my fingers hurt they were so cold and the traffic was bumper to bumper because it was icy and snowy yesterday so extra caution on the roads. People called in telling of magical moments......the question was, what is magical to you......People described favorite places such as Steamboat, events such as hearing the National Anthem, seeing a Snowshoe Hare glisten in the sunlight, etc. It was a fun and reflective way to start the day.....for we all have magical moments and sometimes forget how amazing they are.....

When that special someone tells you they are falling in love with you
The exchange two people have when you know you feel something so powerful yet don't need words to discuss it
When someone makes you feel like you are the most important thing on this earth
When you share a moment so deep and raw that tears are brought to both your eyes
When you realize that everything you are thinking, they are thinking too

I love to think of these magical moments and all the ones left to come....

In the midst of chaos......happiness.....

Well.....

We are not going to make my numbers. My biggest deal is probably slipping to February, but I can't control it. The main guy is out on bereavement and I think there is a fine line between asking for your sales and being sensitive. I air towards the sensitive side. I have 3 calls today, all pertaining to deals this quarter and one tomorrow. All I am trying to do is get everything in I can over the next 4 days. I can't wait for it to be February 4th....the quarter will be done, I will be back from my whirlwind trip to SF and I get to enjoy the weekend at home. Ahhhh, I will get there.


Excitement is building around the ski trip as it is the first weekend in March and will be here so soon! Bryan and I are super excited. Last Sunday I met his sister, her husband and their adorable twin boys....they are maybe 19 mos old....so cute! We hung out there and watched football all day.

Tonight Bryan and I are meeting MaryAnn and Steve at the Big Air competition. We will see snowboarding and see a concert by One Republic. Should be super fun. I have been so incredibly tired lately, I hope I can make it till 10 pm.....lol.

So weird to hear on the radio today the announcers talking about opening day at Coors Field being April 1st. I almost want to freeze time....How can April be talked about right now?

I am excited as this Friday Michelle, her daughter Ashley, Rebecca and her daughter Laney are all having a slumber party here. We will make paninis and I will make cupcakes for the girls....pancakes Saturday morning....we have had it on the calendar for maybe a month and I am looking forward to it. Saturday I am also bringing dinner to my parents friend Lisa. She lives in Loveland, about 45 minutes away. She is battling breast cancer and getting her to let me help her was like pulling teeth but she has finally agreed. I am signing up once a month to bring dinner. Since Lisa worked with my Dad, their company will be contributing every month to what I make for the Lang's too. I start on Saturday. It feels good to help someone in need so close to me and someone I know, no less. I just hope all my meals come out good! LOL

Well must get back to work! Can't believe I have calls every other hour today until 2:30. Better get to it. Hope all of you out there are doing great.

xoxo

So this is it

The quarter and our 2010 ends on 1-31-11. I keep thinking will I wake up on 2-1 with a sense of relief but actually no because I have a huge business trip to SF, Feb 1-3. I have really lost a lot of self control the past month. The holidays kicked it into high gear so while I am still working out, I feel lousy. I am not sleeping well and I have given in to every chocolate, sweet, and carb craving. I know, a lot of you are rolling your eyes, but I feel and see what it is doing. I just threw away all the cookies in the house. I have to get control of this cause this isn't going to bring my deals in! There is a lot of pressure on two of us and me specifically as our East Coast girl isn't bringing anything in really this quarter......everything has gone to next quarter. It is a lot riding on me and while a part of that is thrilling, a part of that is equally terrifying. I recognize I have gotten lost in all of this, especially the past few weeks and while a lot of that is inevitable, I can do better. I did spin class at noon today and since e-mail was slow, did a quick mani/pedi after. I needed that today. I need to take better care of myself.

This weekend I am hitting the slopes which is exciting and terrifying at the same time! I honestly can't believe I am actually doing it. Mary Ann and I committed we would be ski buddies so we both got the Copper Four Pass and Saturday will do a Two Hour Lesson and then off we go. Fear is my biggest obstacle, but with the Ski trip the first weekend of March, I need to get out there! Friday night the Lakers play the Nuggets so Steve is making dinner and I am staying over which will be great. I love spending time with them.

My parents have a good friend out here who is beginning her battle with breast cancer. It is so sad as she has a year of chemo/radiation ahead of her and their are just a lot of health problems between her and her husband and the kids. I finally got her to give me access to her care calendar. While she is an hour away, I am going to try and bring dinner for the family once a month. I figure it is the least I can do and something I should prioritize as if I or my family were in that situation, I would hope someone would do the same for me.

I really want to get the camera out in February. I know the second Q4 is over, Q1 begins, but we need a little chance to breathe. It is just the most intense situation. I am pleased though to have brought on some big names including NIKE. The future is bright.

I am enjoying everything in life right now so while I might seem completely overwhelmed, I am just admitting my fears here. I am blessed to have such an amazing job and work with such incredible people.....truly. 2011 is going to be a great year for me. I already know that. Things with Bryan are great too.

I have one load in the laundry, dishwasher is going and I think it is time to brew some Sleepytime Tea....

Wishing you all a good night.

xo
E

6 Days into the New Year...

and I got my second deal in today, YEAH! Now if the other verbal could just get done tomorrow that will be awesome. Year ending 1-31 is looking good but the next couple weeks will be HUGE.

Saw The Fighter last night with Bryan.....acting was great and I was touched by the story, love movies based on true stories.....got a little teary at the end. Ski trip house booked today which is a huge weight lifted and Bryan is coming.....which is awesome and freaky all at the same time....he is going to meet so many friends at once BUT trying not to freak and make it a big deal.....cause it's not....it's just a bunch of people getting together for a weekend of fun.....I can't believe how fast that will be here.....

Looking forward to a weekend where I have tons of errands to do, workouts ahead, and lazy time. I am really getting used to lazy time on the agenda!

2011 has begun

and I must share some of the recipes Bryan and I cooked to ring in the New Year.....Asian Pork was to die for!

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Texican-Squash/Detail.aspx
http://www.food.com/recipe/wok-or-skillet-asian-style-fresh-green-beans-166069
http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000001160642

I am loving this year already, not just for me, but for all my family & friends who also have such exciting things happening this year....

Love to all of you.

xoxo
E