Break Up

Wasn't quite expecting that today. Very sad.

It's amazing

the body's reaction when you freak out.......lump in my throat......instant weird feeling in my stomach..........slightly nauseous........dizzy and overwhelmed.........world spinning..........trying to calm down and turn the voices off in my head............god I hope yoga helps...........

Hump Day

Well it is hump day and I am so behind on entries.......had a great week off. Really good 48 hour visit with CB, she had no idea I was coming which was really fun. Great to see her, her mom and her little one who is getting so big. Kids are so funny. Then I got home and KO, MF, and SB came into town and what a whirlwind weekend! We had a blast with so many stories and inside jokes now. I definitely might giggle the next time I order Indian food. So funny. Great pics. Happy memories.

A Week Off...

I am so excited to have 5 days away from the office although a lot of the chaos will follow me on my 5 days off. I am working on handling it......it is already following me this morning, remembering to keep everything in perspective and concentrating on all i have to look forward to this week! One is a surprise so I can't discuss here but I am so excited for my weekend visitors.....KO, MF, and SB! Nothing like having some of my really good friends in town for some fun. This should be a good week....

Unsure

Being unsure is not the best feeling. It seems I can get one right: work or personal life, but not always both. I know sometimes you just have to have a little faith. I also know that after all I have been through, I will be ok no matter what......sometimes the in-between is the hard part. I hope MG and I make it through this rough patch. I hope while he is away and I have some travel myself that I can get recentered, rebalanced, renewed.......I need to feel like ME again and lately I haven't. I have been caught up in this storm which is my life and I've let it get control. Time to breathe. Time to relax. Time to grab the reins.

REFLECTION.....

is healthy, reflection is good, reflection can also be so crazy. There is so much happening I can't yet put in this place so for now let's talk about the past....it has been a year since my world came crashing down, a year from the time that reality as I knew it and felt it was swept away and the weirdest thing............I can't really say I 100% remember it......I know it was the worst thing and I know I have fear from that experience I carry with me but I have truly MOVED ON.....so weird how that just happens and you aren't even quite sure how or when.......it amazes me to be honest.....I also just found out that person is moving away, no more worries of unplanned meetings or parties I have to avoid, no more drama..........everything about here and the place I am in now is more just for me and about me.........and I like that......I feel a bit more open.........more space........everything about where I am now I love........I never imagined I could be in this place and while it is different than the last place and the places before that, it is still special and comfortable and full of love and I need all of that..........more adventures and "newness" to come......more firsts......more deep breaths...........more happiness... :)

Been so long...

that I am not sure where to start or how to catch up so I will try and have random things on here as I can.....so busy lately, juggling many balls in the air at one time, feeling easily overwhelmed and just wanting an escape from it all.......Hawaii sure sounds nice right about now :)

Major events that have happened that I can immediately think of is Memorial Day Weekend which was fab....my brother and his gf came.....we had such a great time. Hung with work friends, good friends, they met MG, etc.....really fun all and all.

This past weekend my parents were here Wednesday-Sunday and we had my cousin's graduation party and lots of family time. They met MG too which went really well. All in all really happy.

I am happy about upcoming trips, upcoming changes, upcoming challenges, and upcoming R&R, it is just getting there sometimes that is half the battle if that makes sense......well a lot doesn't make sense right now.....but it will.....in due time......